The Power of Family Meetings—Especially for Families with Neurodivergent Kids
Let’s be honest: the idea of family meetings can sound like something out of a sitcom—organized, idealistic, and maybe a little too perfect. But in real life? They’re actually one of the most powerful, practical tools for building connection, improving communication, and supporting the emotional well-being of every member of your household—especially if you’re parenting a neurodivergent child.
I first started holding family meetings when my kids were around 8 and 5 years old. They weren’t frequent—we maybe had three a year—and the topics usually revolved around screen time, chores, or school transitions. But here’s what surprised me: those meetings stuck. Even years later, I can see how they helped shape a family culture where everyone’s voice mattered. And yes, sometimes the biggest takeaway was that screen time went up. But more often, we left those conversations with a sense of shared understanding—and that’s the gold.
Whether you’re raising a child with ADHD, autism, anxiety, sensory differences, or another neurodivergence, family meetings can offer structure, predictability, and a chance to slow things down long enough to truly connect. Think of them less like corporate board meetings and more like a weekly team huddle that reminds everyone, “We’re in this together.”
Why Family Meetings Matter for Neurodivergent Children
Family meetings help with more than just logistics—they lay the groundwork for emotional regulation, independence, and trust. Here's why they’re especially beneficial when parenting neurodivergent kids:
1. They Create Space for Every Voice
Neurodivergent children may struggle to express themselves during fast-paced or emotionally charged conversations. A regular, structured time to talk allows everyone—regardless of age or communication style—to participate without pressure. If your child isn’t ready to share, that’s okay. Let them listen, absorb, and jump in when they’re ready. Spoiler: they’ll probably jump in when someone suggests something they disagree with.
2. They Reduce Anxiety Around Change
Unexpected transitions can be overwhelming, especially for kids with autism, ADHD, or sensory processing challenges. Family meetings provide a heads-up about upcoming events—whether it’s a new school routine, travel plans, or even a change in bedtime. Talking through these changes ahead of time gives your child time to process and helps reduce stress for everyone.
3. They Promote Problem-Solving as a Team
Let’s be real: when one child in a family has additional needs, siblings sometimes feel overlooked or frustrated. Regular family check-ins give everyone a safe space to express those feelings. Instead of resentment simmering under the surface, kids learn that their experiences are valid—and that they’re part of the solution. It’s a chance to model respectful communication and collaboration in real time.
4. They Boost Confidence and Decision-Making
Neurodivergent children often benefit from opportunities to make choices and feel ownership over their environment. Family meetings can include small decisions—like what to do on the weekend or how to divide up chores—that give kids a sense of agency. (Yes, even when their suggestions are wildly impractical. That’s part of the learning.)
5. They Strengthen the Parent-Child Relationship
When families only sit down to talk during conflict, kids may associate serious conversations with stress or punishment. Regular, low-stakes meetings help normalize discussion and create a foundation of trust. Over time, your child learns: “My voice matters here. I’m part of this team.”
When to Start Family Meetings with Kids
You don’t have to wait until your child is in middle school to start. Even kids as young as four or five can benefit from a simplified version. They might choose the family movie, share a favorite moment from the week, or offer snack suggestions. Older kids (around age seven and up) can handle more structure—taking turns, following an agenda, and even helping to lead.
If your children are different ages or have different support needs, adjust the meeting to keep it developmentally appropriate. A little flexibility goes a long way.
Tips for Running Simple, Effective Family Meetings
You don’t need a whiteboard or a PowerPoint. Here’s how to keep things easy and engaging:
Keep it short. Start with 10–15 minutes max, especially if your kids are younger.
Pick a regular time. Saturday mornings seemed to work well in our family.
Use a basic structure:
Wins from the week
Anything we need to solve together
Upcoming plans
A fun or silly question (like “What superpower would you want?”)
Take notes. Seriously. Jot things down so you can revisit decisions or track patterns.
Let kids take turns leading. This builds confidence and gives them buy-in.
End on a high note. Family game, silly dance, ice cream—whatever works for your crew.
Real-Life Success: Why It’s Worth Trying
Family meetings for neurodivergent kids aren't about perfection—they're about practice. When you consistently show up, hold space, and invite your children into shared decision-making, you’re building something powerful. You’re teaching communication, emotional regulation, and resilience. You’re creating a culture where everyone is seen and supported.
And no, your kids won’t always be thrilled about it. Sometimes they’ll resist. Sometimes they’ll suggest things like “No chores ever again.” But over time, these conversations become part of the fabric of your family—and that matters more than any one perfect meeting.
Ready to Start?
You don’t need to wait for the “right moment.” Just pick a time, gather your people, and begin. Your first meeting might feel awkward. That’s okay. Keep showing up. You’re planting seeds for trust, connection, and calm—especially for your neurodivergent child.
Want more tools for supporting your family? Subscribe to the newsletter or book a coaching session to get personalized support for your parenting journey.
A version of this post also appeared at Washington Parent Magazine on May 20, 2025