Why "Trust Your Gut" Isn’t a Cliché. It's a Scientific Parenting Strategy.

If you’ve ever Googled something about childrearing or neurodivergence only to be overwhelmed by conflicting advice (some of it written by experts, some of it by content mills trying to meet a deadline) you’re in good company. In fact, you’re doing what lots of overwhelmed parents of complicated kids do: diving headfirst into mainstream content and then wondering which "science" to trust.

Here’s what I want you to know: you are allowed to trust your gut AND still use science to guide you. They’re not opposites. They can (and should!) go hand in hand.

“The Science” Has a PR Problem

We all think we know what we mean when we say “The Science”, but do we?

Here’s the thing: true science is slow, rigorous, methodical, peer-reviewed, and also… it is painfully behind the times in terms of real-world implementation. 

How far behind? Try 20–30 years. That’s the average time it takes for a research conclusion to make it into mainstream medical practice.

So when you're told, “autism is X” or “there’s no evidence for Y,” what you’re often hearing is old news, or someone’s personal interpretation of someone else's interpretation of outdated news.

Parents as Data Analysts (Sort Of)

Theresa Lyons, PhD and autism science educator, tells parents this: “Don’t wait 30 years for information that could help your child today.”  Here’s why I trust her. After her daughter’s autism diagnosis, she left a successful career in pharmaceutical research and applied her expertise in analyzing medical literature to parenting.

What does that mean for the rest of us who don’t have PhDs from Yale?

It means we become consumers of quality information. It means we get curious instead of panicked. And most importantly, it means we stay connected to our intuition.

Your Gut Knows More Than You Think

There is often a moment - have you ever felt this way? - when your gut says: this can’t be all there is. Maybe it’s after reading yet another generic article about behavior management that feels awful. Maybe it’s after being told to “just wait and see.” Maybe it’s after trying something that’s supposed to help… but doesn't.

Parents are the first to notice something’s off. You’re the ones logging symptoms, remembering what happened after that one food, noticing how behavior shifts depending on the environment. That’s not anecdotal fluff. That’s data. Your gut might be the most real-time diagnostic tool you’ve got. Do not let other people (including your pediatrician!) dissuade and distract you from your data.

What You Can Do Now

So how do you balance gut feelings and scientific literature? Here are some things to try:

Ask better questions.
Instead of asking “What’s the best treatment for X?” try “What symptoms is my child showing, and what does the science say about addressing those specific symptoms?” Start small: maybe it’s sleep, digestion, attention span, or emotional regulation.

Investigate dietary and environmental factors.
Food and environment matter. Gluten, for example, increases gut permeability in everyone, not just those with celiac disease. For some brains and bodies, fluorescent lights, EMFs or high-pitched sounds will set them off. Most brains don’t ‘care’ about this stuff, but In some complicated kids, there  can be cascading effects on nervous systems and behavior.

Remember that bioindividuality is a thing.
All bodies are different. Bodies and brains have different capacities, different sizes, different genetic makeups and different ways of processing what’s happening internally. This is why people respond differently to the same medication. This is why people respond differently to the same foods. This is why people respond differently to the same environments.

If You’re Feeling Overwhelmed

You don’t have to read every scientific publication yourself (though PubMed is there if you want it!). But you do get to be skeptical of mainstream blah-blah. You are empowered to ask for sources and look for clinicians, educators, and coaches who are staying current on what science actually says, and what it doesn't.

You don’t have to wait 30 years for things to get better. Just start trusting what you already know.

Do you have questions about your child’s development or your parenting? Scheduled a free 15-minute call with me here ⬇️