“You’re Too Sensitive”: Rewriting the Crybaby Script for You and Your Child

When I was a kid, I got called a crybaby. I don’t think it was a lot. And I’m not even sure who used that term.

But for whatever reason, I internalized it.

I believed that my tears were a problem. That my sensitivity was “extra”. That my emotional reactions made me less worthy, less lovable, and certainly less tolerable to be around.

So I did what a lot of sensitive kids do. I got good at holding it in. I tried to be “low maintenance.” I tried to laugh it off when I was hurting. And I believed the idea that big feelings were bad, and that I had too many of them.

Fast forward a few decades (and some serious unlearning) and I now know something radical:

I wasn’t too sensitive. I was the exact right amount of sensitive. For me.

If your child cries easily, gets overwhelmed in loud spaces, melts down “for no reason,” or takes things so personally, there’s a good chance they’re the exact right amount of sensitive too.

Here’s the thing about parenting complicated kids: Their behavior—especially their big emotional reactions—can push buttons you didn’t know you had. It can awaken stories you were told about your own emotions, especially if those stories sounded like:

• “You’re overreacting.”

• “Calm down!”

• “Don’t be so dramatic.”

• “You’re so sensitive.”

Sound familiar?

That’s not an accident.

When our kids behave in ways that we were shamed or punished for, it can stir up everything we haven’t healed yet. Suddenly, we’re not just reacting to their tears. We’re reacting to our own childhood hurt. Our own vulnerability. Our own fear that maybe we’re still “too much.” (remember that triad from last week? yep!)

This is the unspoken part of raising complicated kids. They don’t just challenge parenting strategies. They challenge our internalized narratives. They hold up a mirror, and sometimes we don’t like what we see. Not because our kids are bad and doing anything wrong, but because we’re still holding shame about the very same traits.

Here’s what I want to say, as someone who lived through Crybaby and came out the other side: There is nothing wrong with being sensitive. There is everything right about having a child who feels deeply.

But it is hard. It takes work. It will stretch you. And some days it will feel like it’s breaking you. That’s how you know nothing has gone wrong. (!)

So what if, instead of trying to toughen up your sensitive child, you knew how to support them in building resilience without shame?

What if you stopped seeing sensitivity as a flaw and started treating it like a powerful inner compass?

If you sometimes catch yourself thinking, “They’re being such a crybaby” and immediately feel bad about it, you are not alone. You’re not a bad parent. You’re a human with a history.

Here are two things you can try this week to shift the narrative just a bit:

1. Say it differently (to yourself first).
   Instead of, “They’re so dramatic,” try, “They’re having a hard time.”
   You don’t have to say it out loud or even believe it (yet). But changing your thoughts about your child’s behavior helps change your tone, your response, and your stress level.

2. Notice your own emotional flashbacks.
   When your kid starts crying or melting down, take a breath and ask: “Is this about them… or is this poking at something in me?”
   Sometimes we parent our children as if they're our past selves. Being able to separate their experience from our history can free up more compassion for both of you.

And if you’re feeling stuck in the loop of “They’re just too much” or “Why can’t I handle this better?” I’ve got you, and I’d love to talk. 

You can book a free 15-minute phone call with me by CLICKING HERE.

Let’s talk about what’s really going on, and how you can parent with more confidence, clarity, and calm.

xo,
Gabriele